Aranea
by Maddithong
Summary: Shepard was an idiot. But everyone knew that. Especially him. : FemShep x Garrus : Rated M for language, sexual and violent themes, and touchy subjects.
1. Chapter 01: It's a Lonely Universe

_This is a story with no real plot, but small adventures and encounters explored and played with plenty of sarcasm and swearing. Getting drunk off liquor and getting high off drells are just some examples of Commander Shepard's experiences. This is created for entertainment solely, and perhaps to give a glance at one of the Shepard's that we should have been able to be, but didn't get the chance. _

_This is also a story about how such a fool could blindly fall in love, one mistake at a time._

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><p><strong>Aranea<strong>

Chapter 01: It's a Lonely Universe

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><p>"There's one question that everyone has been wanting to ask you, Shep..."<p>

Small, calloused hands carelessly dropped a few ice cubes into a glass, the sweet liquid inside splashing and placing cerulean drops onto her finger tips. The woman cringed and licked them off with almost disgust, even though she enjoyed the taste. Her fingers were still covered in dust. They're always covered in dust. Dirt. Blood. She cringed again as she looked at the sad state of her finger nails.

_I should get a manicure_. A perverted laugh gurgled in her throat.

"If you don't mind me-" The young thief was cut off as she processed the reason for her companion's raised hand, a glass of alcohol being shown behind their back as an invitation. "-No thank you." She paused and waited until the commander sauntered across the room, and fell down onto the couch. A long sigh escaped her chapped lips as she set the glass in between her legs. It splashed again, landing on her thigh. She watched the liqueur soak into her pants and send a chill down her back as it touched her skin. Kasumi continued.

"May I ask you, Shep?" The commander swung her head backwards and rested her neck on the back of the couch so she could glance at the young woman sitting on the bed behind her. With her face upside down, she nodded letting her dark hair fall and dance with the simple expression.

"Well you know," Kasumi stood and moved beside her company with the speed and grace of a feline, her hood's shadow playing with the apparent friendly visage she wore. Shepard took this time to bring her head back up, closing her eyes and growling at the small pounding in her skull from moving too fast. She then brought her treat up to her lips, flicking her tongue along the smooth rim and lapping the liquid up with pleasant relief.

The Asian smiled. "It's about when you died." This surprisingly got Shepard's attention, her eyes very slowly tracing the form of the girl sitting to her left, up until she met bright eyes. Her tongue was still in her drink.

"We've all had questions like this, and answers are very few in number. You've thought about it too, and you got to experience it firsthand. We want to know. _I_ want to know, Shep." She brought her legs up to her chest, and set her chin on them to offer all of her attention to the confused commander across from her.

Shepard set her drink down on the table and glared at it for a moment, seemingly deep in her own thoughts. She never thought about such things. No time, no desire to. Perhaps because there wasn't much _to_ think about. Sure, the feeling of dying she could easily talk about, make words come out of her mouth to express how much fucking fun it was. The whole 'being dead' aspect of it was pretty much a void in her senses and memory, like when one sleeps and no dreams form.

"Well..." The commander trailed off, searching for correct words. She leaned back and crossed her arms, then gave off an uncaring shrug. "I don't have answers. Besides..." She went fishing again. "Nothing. There was nothing." Kasumi gave a blank stare and then lowered her eyes to the ground. Shepard viewed the wonders of the ceiling.

"I mean like, absolutely nothing. There I was choking on my own tongue, and then it was like, I fell asleep or something. Next thing I know, I wake up and Miranda is yelling at me to get my ass out of bed." A chuckle. "My first thoughts were along the lines of _'Holy shit, I could go for a varren burger right now._'" Hoping to share the same amusement with her friend, Shepard looked over at the other end of the sofa; she frowned at the rather plastic smile she received.

"Thanks for sharing, Shepard."

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><p><strong>AN: **Phew! I have been working on this fic for ages! Just now have I thought to post it up, as I do have another half a dozen chapters pretty much ready to go. I love this Shepard. She's ridiculous, badass, adorable and the most fun I have had with a character before. I love my Shep :) And, well, I love Garrus too. What a stud he is. Hell, I love everyone in this bloody game, so you will see the majority of them later on.

Let the party begin, I suppose.


	2. Chapter 02: Floor Thoughts

**Aranea**

Chapter 02: Floor Thoughts

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><p>The formality of her full name was the first indication something wasn't right. Kasumi never seemed like the religious type, such assumptions came with her career choice, but her response showed nothing but disappointment. Shepard was at a loss, mostly confused, and a little pissed at herself for not giving a damn, as usual.<p>

It couldn't be helped, she just didn't think that religion was an important aspect of life. If anything, she thought it brought out flaws in people, needing to have a belief in something higher to go about their lives. There is no comfort in death, just darkness. The end of things. Live now before you die and get resurrected by Cerberus, because Cerberus sucks, not even slightly close to the images of heaven humans have conjured up. Shepard growled to herself.

Although perhaps Kasumi deserved better, a better answer to her questions. She was considered her best friend, in lame human terms. Comfort came with the package. Along with the usual pants-less pillow fights, boy talks, and fire fights in isolated merc bases.

Visiting the asian had become a sort of ritual, something the commander enjoyed doing after a long mission. The girl was bright, intelligent, a most of all, a very good distraction—something that Shepard needed after a long and disgusting visit to Omega, even if it was just a trip to gather information and supplies. She hummed.

_Archangel_.

The commander let herself slide down the cool metal wall roughly. Another person to go chasing after, convince, and do some chores for—for the one and only Mister Illusive Man. A picture of him lounging in his wheelie chair and having a smoke appeared, she happily drew a dark moustache on him with her imaginary pen. Stretching her tired legs across the floor, the woman pouted at her pale bare feet and listened in on the chatter and movements in the mess just around the corner.

However this Archangel character sure seemed like a badass. Shepard liked badasses. Less cuddling, more results.

The elevator dinged right in front of her, blue eyes darted up to witness her XO approach her feet swiftly.

"Miranda." The last syllable was dramatized and came out as more of a long 'dah' sound.

"Are you drunk?" Lawson looked down at the commander, sprawled out in the middle of the hallway, wearing nothing but a long-sleeved shirt and what appeared as pants used as pyjamas, the Cerberus logos stitched into the fabric were scratched out poorly, one of them was turned into a cat. The woman on the ground grinned at this question.

"If only I was. Care to join me? The view is quite splendid." Shepard grinned even wider as she let her eyes wander over the slender build and tight clothing that was placed above her. "You look good in black." Miranda was used to such remarks and treatment, especially from the commander, so she shrugged it off annoyingly with a sigh.

"You haven't sent a report on what you discovered on Omega." The black-head shifted her weight to her other foot, and crossed her arms in an offensive stance.

Shepard pouted.

"It's obvious you haven't found Archangel yet. We are making very slow progress, Shepard." She spoke the words slowly, as if her company didn't understand her. It was still shrugged off easily.

"I'll get him, I'll get him." Shepard waved a hand in front of her face, as if to convince her parents that she will get her chores done _after_ she finishes up her extranet video game. "Just needed to rest up my crew, ya know?" Miranda nodded sarcastically and left for her cabin without another word. Shepard observed her quietly, a dirty smile plastered on her face. How she enjoyed toying with that woman, almost as much as telling the Illusive Man to suck her dick. Almost.

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><p><strong>AN: **Shepard doesn't like Miranda or TIM. Neither do I. Uck.


	3. Chapter 03: Beautiful Omega

**Aranea**

Chapter 03: Beautiful Omega

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><p>"Ah beautiful Omega!" Shepard spread out her arms and raised her head as if she was being blessed by the air surrounding her. She took a deep breath and smiled into the dirty ceiling. Her companions laughed at this, and Kasumi nudged the woman in the side to stop scaring the people walking by.<p>

"I just adore this place guys, it's my favourite place _ever_." She added a couple of 'ever's after, to make it sound like she was echoing into a mic. Kasumi laughed again, and Thane who took place beside her shook his head as Shepard started to dance down the dark halls in excitement. She always got this way before a fight, and especially when she had to go fight somewhere she really hated. _Fucking Omega_.

"Perhaps we should go into Afterlife to speak with Aria once more, Siha." The assassin spoke softly over the humming of the station.

_There's that word again_. Shepard's eyebrows raised in an 'Oh really?' manner, while glancing back at her squad. She paused and slapped at her thighs as if to dust them. She didn't like Aria, such a stubborn bitch should really get a shot to the balls to smarten up. The main reason why Omega was such a shithole, was definitely that asari's fault. Omega was like a space hamster... _If you don't clean up his shit, it get's really nasty. And man, do hamsters shit a lot._

"I dunno Thane, she gave us all the info we need. I think we should just go talk to those mercs and get this over with." She smiled as she backed up and grabbed Kasumi's hand happily. This was also something the commander was well known for. She was really, really _originally_ weird.

The girl beside her didn't mind this gesture at all, and instead looked behind herself at the drell assassin and grinned knowingly, just to let him know that it was nothing. She knew how his scaley mind worked when it came to Shepard. "Although I kind of want to go shopping. We have all these discounts and barely use them." The brunette turned to her thief with pleading eyes.

"We will have plenty of time for that after, Shep." There was an 'Aw man' response to this, but there were no follow up complaints. The walk was a relatively quiet one, considering Shepard's excitement and exploding sarcasm. They made it into the club with no struggles, and immediately went straight into the small reserved room the mercenaries had rented for gathering 'troops' to take down the infamous Archangel.

"Hello!" Shepard sang over the thumps and buzzes that shook the small cubbyhole, the club now behind them. The batarian placed in front of the glowing terminal looked up and then back down. Taking a second glance he shook his head annoyingly.

"The strippers quarters are on the other side of the club, _human_."

"Oh, okay." The commander made a move to leave, but her companions halted her with slight amusement. She smiled sideways at the drell who had her shoulder. He sighed at her.

"Actually, we are here for Archangel." Kasumi stepped up confidently, the mercenary tipped his head in confusion at the group before contemplating his decision.

"Well you sure pack a lot of heat." Pistols, assault rifles, and Shepard's lovely friend, Mr. Arc Projector, reflected the little red light in the room. The commander viewed herself and threw up her arms in exhaustion.

"I knew stripping in this was a bad idea. Didn't I tell you Thane? God, I am never listening to you again." The assassin looked at her as if to say 'I am no stranger to sarcasm, Shepard.', she approached the merc once again, this time with a hand loosely on her hip and a blank stare.

"If you are here for Archangel, I won't stop you. We're running out of-" An awkward pause. Shepard was staring deep into the batarian's top set of teeny-tiny eyes, an action that not only humans, but aliens alike tended not to do. It was something that strangely sent batarian's on a very uncomfortable and steep edge, as most don't even know which set of eyeballs to look at. This showed initiative, confidence. Shepard liked to do it on purpose. It was a scare tactic.

She also hated the ugly fuckers.

"Uhh... it'll be 500 credits each, you'll need your own equipment—you have that part covered—and this does not make you an official member of the Blue Suns, Blood Pack or Eclipse. You are a freelanc-"

"Yeah, yeah. Skip the crap and point me in the right direction, _batarian_." The mocking tone in her voice was enough to put out images of her tongue sticking out immaturely, but it was taken as a threat nonetheless.

"There's a shuttle over in the transit hub that will take you where you need to go." He spat, pointing at the door to help make sure they leave. He received a formal salute from the commander as they took their leave.

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><p><strong>AN**: Another lovely chapter for you all. I actually forgot to update this as I'm concentrating more-so on my silly Harry Potter story... Well that was embarassing to admit on here. Ahh...


	4. Chapter 04: In the Flesh

**Aranea**

Chaper 04: In the Flesh

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><p>All it took was a bit of sneaking around for Shepard and her squad to pretty much screw over the mercs. A little hacking here, a little breaking there, and a little night-night for some idiotic batarian. Bam. All set to go. As soon as she placed her first step on the bridge leading up to Archangel, it was all over. Not for them, but for the creatures running ahead, placing blind trust in the ones who had their backs. Big mistake in the jungle.<p>

Running as fast as her full-body armour would allow her, Shepard took out her favourite pistol in her left hand, while her right started to generate pulsing waves of blue. Kasumi cloaked to her left, while Thane took cover with his sniper to her right. They began the push.

A bald Blue Suns human was the first to get a pistol in the back of the head, his brains landed on a biotic asari hiding in front of him. She turned around in shock only to get punched out milliseconds later, her killer immediately recloacked as she headed forward with Shepard. A group of hired guns was tossed off of the bridge with the commander's pulsing right hand, as Thane sniped a batarian who tried to turn his BA on her. The push was working splendidly, thanks to commander Shepard's great squad and the cooperation of their new friend from above.

It was not even a minute before they made their way up a set of stairs and down a short hallway. One human stood in the way, who Shepard easily took care of by shooting him right in between the eyes and throwing him over the edge. The door opened she ran in with great excitement, letting out an exasperated laugh and sigh of relief at the form peering over the balcony.

The turian picked off a couple more unfortunate souls before standing and slowly stepping over to the panting woman and her calm companions. Setting his weapon down gingerly, he sat down awkwardly and took off his helmet.

"Commander Shepard."

She blinked.

"... Garrus?" With her head tilted to the side, she squinted as if to clear her vision.

"In the flesh."

As if a switch went off in her head, she threw up her arms and ran over to him. "Garrus!" Clutching his neck tightly, she laughed and hugged him like never before. What air she allowed him to breathe, let him release an exhausted chuckle as he returned the favour. She snuggled his neck lovingly before finally pulling away. With her hands still on his shoulders, she gave him a childish glare.

"Where the _fuck_ have you been?"

"I would ask the same of you, Shepard." He tilted his head slightly, as pleasant as his eyes seemed, his body was tired. Shepard frowned. "It's been a long day." He responded to her apparent worry, and she nodded to this. Professionalism activated once again in commander Shepard. "We'll talk when I take you off this piece of shit rock." They exchanged smiles.

"Deal."

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><p><strong>AN**: I always pictured Shepard crushing Garrus in a lock of love when they met again. Just fits, ya know?


	5. Chapter 05: Chicks Dig Scars

**Aranea**

Chapter 05: Chicks Dig Scars

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><p>Watching half of his face come off in a single blast was not something Shepard wanted to see. She almost threw up in her mouth witnessing his lifeless body before her. Of course pain comes incredible power, and she was so pissed she took down the fighter with a grip of her right hand, and a biotic push that sent it into a neighbouring building. Her squadmates had no time to be in awe as she was screaming nonsense and blabbering to Joker on her radio through half sobs when it was all over.<p>

"He took a pretty bad hit, Commander."

The woman was pacing around the com room table impatiently, half listening to Jacob's status report on her turian friend. She nervously tugged at her captains shirt every second, mumbling how she needed a stiff drink and a cigarette if she was to keep her sanity.

"Shepard." His tone was to make her stop, she was being annoying. She didn't.

"I should go down there." The brunette announced, ready to make it to the door.

"Shepard, I don't think that's a good idea. Dr. Chakwas said that the chances of him recovering-" Before she even had a chance to backup and hit the man across the face, the door chimed open. Being her frustrated self, she turned to take out her anger on the visitor, but stopped in her tracks with her mouth so far open she could taste the dust in the air.

"Hey." The turian Shepard was ready to kill someone over stood awkwardly in the doorway, his hand in a position of greeting.

"What-" Jacob couldn't even get a word in as a file was flown biotically towards his face, making him dodge as Shepard ran up to Garrus and wrapped her arms around his torso.

"I was so fucking worried, I hate you so much." Witnessing her childish attitude viewed on Omega, Garrus laughed, his vibrating chest tickling the woman's face. Pulling away and glancing up, she scrunched her face in distaste as she saw the state of his injuries.

"Jesus Garrus..."

"Is it really that bad?" He scratched his head nervously. "No one will give me a mirror." Placing her fingers to her chin, she pretended to stroke her long beard. After a long thought process and a couple 'hmm's, the commander came to a conclusion.

"You're pretty sexy Garrus, chicks dig scars you know." Letting out an awkward laugh, he let her take him by the arm and lead him out into the hall. There was a hop-skip in her walk, and a permanent smile just plastered on her face, like a child going to an amusement park. Tugging him into the elevator with her, she pressed the button for the captain's quarters and danced on the spot.

"You haven't changed, I see." The turian laughed.

"I hope that's for the better." She smiled at him while leaning back, he watched her curiously in the process. They seemed like a good pair; her brown shoulder length hair slightly wavy and messy due to the last fight, his destroyed armour and torn apart face. They both shared the same eyes as well, bright blue with confidence and strength. They were both tired, experienced soldiers, friends with many similar interests. They shared another knowing smile.

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><p><strong>AN**: They do, you know.


	6. Chapter 06: Shepard, the Turian

**Aranea**

Chapter 06: Shepard, the Turian

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><p>Shepard entered her room with a comfortable sigh and jumped onto her bed, groaning into her bed sheets, she flopped around onto her back and propped herself up with her elbows. Slowly Garrus stepped in; a talon landed on the bright fish tanks on the side of the room. He tapped on the glass twice.<p>

"I think your fish are dead."

The woman threw up her arms. "Goddamnit!" Never again was she to waste money on those pathetic things people call pets. Too much work and love needed for them. She loved her space hamster though, his name was Richard. _King_ Richard: Destroyer of worlds.

It was a few minutes before he spoke again, taking the time to observe her space, touch her medals and smile softly at her books and knickknacks. There were paper novels he didn't recognize, but found sweet nonetheless, and pictures of her friends, old and new. He even found one of himself, taken ages ago before they took on Saren, when they were at their best in their friendship. And she simply watched him patiently until he took a spot on her couch and met her stare.

Swinging her legs over the edge of her bed, she picked at her hair.

"What happened Shepard? I mean I saw you go down with the Normandy and..." His voice got lower and lower, so quiet he practically whispered the last word. Her presence on the couch made him raise his head slightly, but he kept his eyes on the ground. "I thought you—we all thought you..."

"Well, I did. Die, I mean. At the time, I'm not dead now. Obviously." Her mumbling kept herself tongue-tied in her thoughts. "Cerberus brought me back, to fight the good fight." She fist-pumped the air sarcastically.

"Cerberus. That's... confusing. To say the least."

"I don't blame you. Felt the same way at first. I still don't like them." Reaching for a bottle on the table, she poured out a glass of blue liquor. She went to offer her friend some, but then caught herself realizing that he couldn't consume it even if he wanted to.

"It's alright." He caught her hesitation and placed his hand in the air as a gesture of 'don't worry about it'. Shepard shrugged understandably while sipping at her cup. Leaning back, she exhaled as the delicious berry drink slithered down her throat and warmed her stomach. Perhaps she would go down to Kasumi's room later, and pick out something nice out of her bar that Garrus would be able to enjoy without endangering his health. It took her a moment to realize his silence, and elbowed him softly in the side to get his attention.

"You're pretty out of it, Vakarian. Aren't you happy to see little ol' me?"

"Happier than you could imagine." His response and tone was enough to surprise her. She immediately slapped her cheeks to prevent a blush creep upon her face. Letting out a couple 'hoh hoh!'s was all she could do as she shifted in her seat and took another gulp of her beverage. "I'm just... well I think I'm in shock."

"You?" She gasped and stood up abruptly. Pushing out her chest, she angled her shoulders out and got on her tippy-toes. "The famous turian who helped _the_ commander Shepard take down Saren," She saluted an imaginary crowd. "The famous Archangel who managed to piss off every single mercenary group in the galaxy," She pretended to fire guns at the far wall, making 'pew pew' sounds. "Overwhelmed by a small human girl?" Panting and laughing at herself, she stumbled back onto her spot and grabbed her glass again gleefully.

"You tend to have that effect on people." He laughed as she paused with her drink still in her mouth, a stupid look painted on her face as her tongue searched for the fluid. She wrinkled her brow.

"I don't see why everyone thinks I'm so fucking special." The female let her voice echo through her cup. "I know a lot of people who can fire a gun and use biotics."

"You get things done, Shepard. Flawlessly, might I add." A slender hand waved in front of his face, humbly telling him to shut up. Knocking it down gently, he searched to find eyes that were still deep into her alcohol. "Think about it, who else could storm into a base, shoot up every single foe right in between the eyes," A talon pointed at the area. "Save hostages, _and_ come out of it with credits and technology to boot—while dancing the _whole_ time." Shepard snorted as her drink came out of her nose.

"Hey, I like dancing." She rubbed the now burning area while sniffles found places in between her words.

"That I know, _very_ well." Garrus laughed again while his companion shot him a dirty glare. His mandibles were moving softly as a sign of pleasant amusement, although half of his face looked as if it was frozen, movement was strained and his hidden winces were quite obvious to Shepard. She pointed an index finger toward his scars.

"Does it hurt?"

Taken aback, he shrugged a bit. "Not really." Her unimpressed response made him try to explain. "It just feels... strange." Without asking, the commander reached up and traced his jaw-line with two fingers. He flinched at first, but then welcomed the cooling effect her fingertips had as they slowly ran over the raw flesh. Glancing over, he watched her curiously explore his face; she didn't blink as a couple hick-ups shook her small frame. Satisfied she pulled away and gave him a large grin.

"Feels fucking cool, if you ask me." Then, as an epiphany lit up her eyes, Shepard jumped closer to the turian to get his full attention. "I wish I was a turian!" She was sitting on her knees now, hands placed loosely on the top of his armour he had yet to have time to change out of. Only a blink from him was her response. "I would make an amazing turian, Garrus. It's all about honour with you guys right? I'm really good at that! And I'd be like," She leaped up, and ran into the middle of the room. Then with a breath, changed her body language to resemble something close to what she was doing when pretending to be her companion. "Hey, look at me, I'm a turian."

Garrus never laughed so hard in his life. Holding his sides, he grunted as the familiar pain pierced his cheek, this however was not enough to keep tears forming in his eyes as he shook with enjoyment. Shepard pouted as she fell onto her butt and crossed her legs.

"I think it would be cool." Garrus struggled to calm himself as she spoke. "I want to be just like you..."

"Shepard," He smiled and tipped his head to the side. "You're perfect the way you are. I know I wouldn't change a single thing about you." He continued to beam at her until her childish pout slowly formed into a wide-toothed grin. On her hands and knees, she crawled back across the room and ended up by armoured legs. They shared a moment of silence as the brunette placed her head clumsily on his thigh, and let her fingers dance along the table until they reached the tall blue bottle that was now half empty. Out of defeat, her hand lazily laid down on the cool surface and stayed there.

"You know, I'm super happy you're here Garrus. I've been searching for you all over the fucking galaxy since I woke up." She felt her face burn even though the metal against her cheek was cool to the touch. "You were the most important person to me, next to..." She stopped herself and angrily glared at her hand on the table. Fucking _Kaiden Alenko_. _I hate him. Wow this is really comfy. I want a smoke. _Her thoughts began to wander and escape her.

"Shepard..." The turian shifted carefully under the woman. "I searched for you for 2 years, and then some, y-the Normandy, was my only real purpose in life." He lowered his voice once again. "I had nothing else..." A talon reached out just enough to touch a couple strands of brown hair before pulling away as if burned.

"Oh Garrus." Shepard bent her head back awkwardly to share her bright, drunken smile with the turian. "God, I've missed you so much." Spinning around, she wrapped her arms tightly around his legs, and snuggled her forehead against his knee-cap. He couldn't help but laugh at her innocence.

"I've missed you too, Shepard."

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><p><strong>AN**: Shepard drinks a lot, very, very fast. She's the type who drinks to get drunk, and has mastered quite the tactics to get her there.  
>What now, drunken Shepard? Who shall you destroy on your drunken path this time?<p> 


	7. Chapter 07:Favorite Store on the Citadel

**Aranea**

Chapter 07: My Favorite Store on the Citadel

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><p>Supervising a drunk Shepard as she wandered the ship was not something Garrus had in mind for his first night aboard, but he did let her drink, and so he felt some sort of responsibility to make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble. Besides, she wasn't too much trouble so far, only brought him down a deck to go visit her close friend Kasumi, apparently this was to get Garrus his own poison, but he didn't feel like drinking.<p>

"You know, Shep hasn't shut up about you since I met her." The human sat pleasantly with the turian as Shepard danced to some of her tunes and prepared herself another beverage with difficulties across the room. "Were you close?" Mandibles twitched in surprise as he watched the woman at the bar.

"Well, I'd like to think so. We went through a lot back then."

"Hmm, that's sweet. Having someone to talk to during difficult times... it's what keeps us going."

"Sometimes it's just the thought of them that does." Kasumi smiled to herself realizing the reasons to his distant stare towards the commander, she fidgeted to close some of the gap between them.

"Garrus, are you-"

"I am back. With success! I must now file a report to the Illusive Man telling him about my journey!" Shepard laughed as she climbed over the side of the couch to join her friends. Touching her omnitool, she was close to actually messaging her boss, if it not were small human hands grabbing her own. "You know, Miranda told me I have to tell the Illusib-" She slurred. "The Illusive Man about every single thing I do. I should even update him on when I take a shit."

"You can do that in the morning, Shep. No hurry, right?"

"But, but I made this really good drink!" She looked at Kasumi and then to Garrus for an answer. "What if he wants the recipe?"

"I'll write it down for you, so you can send it to whoever you want." Garrus suggested, his taming of the wild beast getting easier as the hours go by. The brunette glared at him as if in deep thought, and then grinned from ear to ear.

"You're my favorite store on the Citadel, Garrus." Then she fell over in a fit of laughter. Kasumi couldn't help but laugh at the remark as well. The turian felt a little left out of the insider, but smiled softly at the happy and comfortable atmosphere floating around in the room. A leg shot up into the air and swung around for a bit; the commander's full body was next to pop up from the ground as she got a brilliant idea.

"We need to eat. Like, right now." Her companions were a bit shocked by her abrupt demand. "No I am serious. If I don't eat right now, I may die."

"Well we don't want that, now do we?" Kasumi shared this thought with the turian beside her, he let out a chuckle.

"Suit up, Vakarian. We are about to go... land on a big, deadly planet and do dangerous stuff. I need you at your best soldier!" Her salute was ignored as the man slowly stood up and followed her to the door. She didn't bother to say goodnight to her friend, but Garrus turned around and shared a nod with her.

"Take good care of her, Garrus." The Asian gave a slight wave.

"I plan to." And the door hissed closed behind him.

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><p><strong>AN**: She's all over the place, isn't she?


	8. Chapter 08: Hungry

**Aranea**

Chapter 08: Hungry

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><p>Making it down the hall was not an easy task for commander Shepard, her feet were rebelling against her, and slamming her into walls and making Garrus help her move to the kitchen. Curse those feet, she will give them a hard lecture later to teach them some respect. One final trip sent her into the outside wall of the elevator, and her turian friend had to push her up against it to stabilize her.<p>

Noticing the small distance between them, she glared at him through misty eyes.

"Garrus, are you hitting on me?"

"What?" He found his hands placed delicately on her waist and ripped them away.

"You know... there's rules against doing stuff like this with your super-ee-or." She pronounced it wrong, but still reached out blindly and grabbed his wrists. Her hands placed them back to where they were on her waist, then moved them higher, talons brushed up against the bottom of her breasts. Garrus coughed awkwardly.

"Shepard, you're extremely drunk."

"And you're extremely... stiff. Loosen up once in a while." Her remark actually surprised him for a moment, the hazy look of alcohol disappeared as she spoke, and he found himself stumbling over his words.

"What happened to wanting food? The kitchen is right there-"

"You're trying to distract me. But what you haven't noticed, is that I'm not holding your hands there." The statement was correct, and the turian found himself taking his hands off her once again with discomfort. She swayed a bit, as if there was a slight breeze in the room, rocking her like a tall tree. Her gaze was strong though, and Garrus found himself working to keep himself from meeting it.

"Why so shy, Vakarian?" A head tipped to try to meet his eyes.

"I'm not—I just..." Finally he gazed up at her, she as still staring at him, but with distance. "You're drunk and I know you wouldn't want something to happen, something you would regret." She gave him another childish pout, the one weakness he had. Hiccupping, the human bent her legs and tried to steady herself.

"Garrus, I would never regret a single moment with you-" She fell onto her ass. Garrus chuckled a little. Eyes looked up at him as he knelt down and brushed strands of hair behind her ears. Her face reddened at the soft gesture, but he did not notice.

"You sure do have the tendency to speak the exact words on my mind." These words were meant for him alone, and so the commander strained herself to understand.

"I'm hungry."

He sighed. "Come on then." And carried her a few more feet into the mess hall. He sat her down gently at the table, then stepped quietly to the fridge to grab her a plate that was made hours before by the chief. It heated up in seconds, and when he turned to face her, she was passed out face first on the table in front of her.

Carrying her in his arms was no trouble for Garrus, turians have large and strong builds, and Shepard was so small to begin with. He easily kept her up for the whole elevator ride to her quarters. Setting her down on her bed, he pulled the sheets from under her and wrapped her up tightly. She opened her eyes for a bit, but had troubles keeping them that way.

"Garrus..." She reached out with her eyes closed, opening and closing her fist like how children reach out to be picked up by their parents.

"Yeah, Shepard?" Kneeling down beside her, he took her flailing hand in his, and a soft smile creeped upon her face.

"I really... did miss you."

"I know. I believed you the first time you said it." Blue eyes showed themselves again for a moment as she searched for his own, they closed once more.

"I'm sorry for this... I like, I like drinking."

He laughed softly. "I know you do."

"Like a lot."

"You always have."

"And you too... I've always... always liked you too... Archangel." And she fell asleep.

Garrus sat there for a while, watching her sleep in silence.

"I've always liked you too, Shepard. Always have."

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><p><strong>AN**: Mushy-mush-mush!


	9. Chapter 09: Life Support

**Aranea**

Chapter 09: In Need of Life Support

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><p>The morning was not kind to Shepard when she awoke. Stumbling out of bed and straight into her shower was the greatest idea she had for stopping the pounding on her skull. She moved across her cabin with closed eyes, tripping over the stairs and cursing as she entered the bathroom. The light burned every inch of her body as she pressed the auto button to the shower. It felt great, until she realized she was soaking the clothes she was previously sleeping in.<p>

A scream full of rage filled the cabin, and the ship's AI kicked in to be of service.

="Shepard, are you in need of any assistance."=

"_No thanks_ EDI." The woman gritted her teeth as she shed the soaked clothes sticking to her body, and throwing them against the wall. The splats were strangely satisfying.

="I strongly suggest you visit Dr. Chakwas in relation to-"=

"Yeah, yeah I get it." Visiting the doctor sounded like way to much work when Shepard only wanted to crawl back into her bed and die a slow and painful death. While rubbing her shampoo in she froze. Relaying the moments of the night before was enough to make her throw up. She did.

Hunched over the toilet she fell back against the wall naked and wet. Although her memory was filled with drunken voids and false events, she was quite sure that she hit on Garrus, and probably in the process made him feel extremely uncomfortable. She could only hope that it didn't chase him away. However if she did, that would be strange. Out of anyone he should be used to her immature behaviours.

Shaking her head at the sad state of the galaxy's human hero, Shepard stood up, downed some special hangover pills, and chugged about four large glasses of water. Then she had a proper shower, complete with fluffy bubbles and vanilla scents. Walking back into her living area naked, she threw on a pair of black trousers and a comfy long-sleeved Cerberus issued 'boring as shit' top.

Now it was time for her to consume the greasiest, unhealthiest grub she could find on the floating vessel. And then, after that, bother some poor soul for entertainment.

The door sang a pleasant ding as Shepard tracked happily into Life Support.

"Thane." She sang.

"Siha," The drell was placed across the room, leaning on the clear glass that looked in on the pulsing sphere known as the ship's core. He faced her politely. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Just wanted to know how my favourite green man was doing." A smile as the woman fell into his usual chair. He sat down in hers in response, hands placed on his lap.

"You do not need to worry about me. Are you well?"

She squished her dry cheek into her fist, as her elbow rested on the cool table. "Meh." Circles were drawn on the surface with her other hand. Her middle finger was best for that, she used it the most.

"I take it that is not well?"

"I'm _bored_." She pouted, lips already pushed out because of the hand against her face.

"I'm not sure if I'm the right source of entertainment for you, Siha. But I am honoured you would try to seek me out."

"Oh, come on Thane, you're not giving yourself any credit here! I think you're _quite_ amusing, and very easy on the eyes if I might add." The woman spun around and fell onto the cot set against the far wall. She didn't see his face, but heard a raspy voice chuckle quietly.

The scheduled trip to the Faryar system to take down some Eclipse bastards for fun was taking a toll on Shepard's patience. Normally, she would be in Kasumi's room, diving into a couple lovely bottles of alcohol, but five hours was just not enough for her to get sloshed and sobered up in time to kick some ass. Thane was her first stop on her tour to annoy every soul on the Normandy for amusement. Garrus picked at her mind, but she thought he could use a small break from her. At least a couple minutes. He was next on her list.

"Say," She folded her hands behind her head and stared at the ceiling. "What do you think of Archangel?"

"Is his name not Garrus?" He questioned, confused.

"Well yeah, but that's a pretty sweet nickname. Would hate for it to go to waste."

"Does he enjoy it?"

"Doesn't matter. _I_ do." She grinned. When it came down to it, no one's opinion really mattered; Shepard was a commander for a reason. Besides, she did remember the turian stating he didn't mind the name, a sort of figurative term for his good-deeds back on Omega. Admittedly, she was jealous.

"If you enjoy his company, I do as well, Siha."

"I asked for your opinion, not my own Thane. I can get that information pretty easily." A finger tapped on her forehead.

"I trust your judgement."

"_Fuck_ my judgement; I want to know what you think about the scaly fucker. Thane, don't test my patience." The commander took on a tone of authority, one that expressed her immediate annoyance to her unfulfilled answers. He was taken aback.

"I'm sorry." She quickly spat under her breath.

"I think he is a fine man, a soldier. He values honour and respect. If I were to trust anyone to watch your back besides myself, I would pick him, Siha. He looks up to you, that I know. In a way, we all do." Silence was a way of showing her approval. A sideways glance was a way of making sure the drell wasn't upset. Satisfied, she sat up and crossed her legs, back to the wall.

"That was a stereotypical response."

Two sets of eyelids blinked. "I am not sure what else you want me to say."

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><p><strong>AN**: Chapter was split into two, as there are steamy bits next. You are warned now and shall be warned again when I upload the next chapter. Mrehhh


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